Sunday, January 04, 2009
TOO BAD
Yesterday, in the course of a philosophical discussion with my brother, I attempted to describe Steven Seagal's sleek and famous ponytail: It looks like he killed a seal by forcing his head through it. I thought that was very fine, but it effectively ended the conversation. Oh I'm sorry, piggy, did you choke on the pearl I just ejected?
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4 comments:
Yes, Steven Seagal is worthy of much reflection, including the ponytail and the sailor gait. I recommend "Seagalogy: A Study of the Ass-Kicking Films of Steven Seagal" for starters. I have it in my downstairs bathroom, poised on top of the roll of TP, ready for the unwary.
It's a remarkably adroit observation. Even SS's signature grimace suggests that he may have just performed a naked-eye colonoscopy on an otter. I don't think I can now look upon him any other way.
Ah, Seagal, Seagal. The steely gaze, the furrowed brow, the cruel, carven mouth. The man is obviously concentrating fiercely on not injuring himself as he defecates a solid gold brick. How else do these movies keep getting financed? He is a man of many mysterious oriental disciplines. Fear him and his golden feces!
WELL. Everyone has an opinion about Steven Seagal, it seems. I thought I was breaking new ground by even thinking about him.
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