Elegant Choice likes to rap me to sleep every night, it is his tradition, but last night this tradition...ended in tragedy.
EC (raps): I think I'm Big Meech, LARRY HOOOOOVER
Me: Who is Larry Hoover, what is that
EC: Larry Hoover is a famous criminal -- and also I think it might be a pun on that old president, the one who used to exist
Me: J. Edgar Hoover?
EC: No, J. Edgar Hoover was the king of the FBI, and he ... he built a dam
Me: No, J. Edgar Hoover was definitely the president, he had two sons while he was in the White House and he built the dam to baptize them
EC: J. Edgar Hoover was never the president
Me: Then what president is he talking about? Does he mean ... Eisenhower? Hoover, Eisenhower, those kind of sound alike
EC: He's talking about PRESIDENT HOOVER, Harry Hoover
Me: There is no such president as Harry Hoover
EC: Yes there was his name was Herbert
Me: THEN WHY DID THEY CALL HIM HARRY
EC: All the best presidents get nicknames -- Dick Nixon, John Fruitboy Adams, James "A. Cat" Garfield, Ham-Ham Lincoln, Mallard Fillmore
Me (crying): Why don't I know any presidents
EC: Because in your mind you live in Narnia, and the president of that country is a big cat
Together: JAMES GARFIELD
6 comments:
I'm pretty sure the only reason I made it through this last semester was because of your blog. HAM-HAM LINCOLN?!?!
Someone please name a pet pig that, and make him wear a little fake beard at all times
You were right, it's Harry Truman (not Hoover). Wasn't J. Edgar Hoover also the guy who liked to dress up in women's underwear? And now my knowledge of American mid-century historical figures has been exhausted.
J. Edgar Hoover was TOTALLY the guy who liked to dress up in women's underwear! We giggle at him across the mists of time
What about Piper Reagan? Or Millard Filbert, of the nut fortune? And J Edgar was an evil queen. Even his mother didn't like him.
It's a good thing I didn't remember that underwear fact before I wrote this -- I'd have tried to work it in somehow, Hoover would be riding on James A. Cat Garfield's back wearing only some nice La Perla
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