Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Dead Presidents

Elegant Choice likes to rap me to sleep every night, it is his tradition, but last night this tradition...ended in tragedy.

EC (raps): I think I'm Big Meech, LARRY HOOOOOVER

Me: Who is Larry Hoover, what is that

EC: Larry Hoover is a famous criminal -- and also I think it might be a pun on that old president, the one who used to exist

Me: J. Edgar Hoover?

EC: No, J. Edgar Hoover was the king of the FBI, and he ... he built a dam

Me: No, J. Edgar Hoover was definitely the president, he had two sons while he was in the White House and he built the dam to baptize them

EC: J. Edgar Hoover was never the president

Me: Then what president is he talking about? Does he mean ... Eisenhower? Hoover, Eisenhower, those kind of sound alike

EC: He's talking about PRESIDENT HOOVER, Harry Hoover

Me: There is no such president as Harry Hoover

EC: Yes there was his name was Herbert

Me: THEN WHY DID THEY CALL HIM HARRY

EC: All the best presidents get nicknames -- Dick Nixon, John Fruitboy Adams, James "A. Cat" Garfield, Ham-Ham Lincoln, Mallard Fillmore

Me (crying): Why don't I know any presidents

EC: Because in your mind you live in Narnia, and the president of that country is a big cat

Together: JAMES GARFIELD

6 comments:

allysonboggess said...

I'm pretty sure the only reason I made it through this last semester was because of your blog. HAM-HAM LINCOLN?!?!

Patricia Lockwood said...

Someone please name a pet pig that, and make him wear a little fake beard at all times

Jennifer Lowe said...

You were right, it's Harry Truman (not Hoover). Wasn't J. Edgar Hoover also the guy who liked to dress up in women's underwear? And now my knowledge of American mid-century historical figures has been exhausted.

Patricia Lockwood said...

J. Edgar Hoover was TOTALLY the guy who liked to dress up in women's underwear! We giggle at him across the mists of time

beth coyote said...

What about Piper Reagan? Or Millard Filbert, of the nut fortune? And J Edgar was an evil queen. Even his mother didn't like him.

Patricia said...

It's a good thing I didn't remember that underwear fact before I wrote this -- I'd have tried to work it in somehow, Hoover would be riding on James A. Cat Garfield's back wearing only some nice La Perla