This Man Is in Charge of a Newspaper

"What is buffalo mozzarella?" my husband asked me. Neither of us knew exactly. I confessed that I thought it was mozzarella named after a city. He confessed that he thought it was just "really big mozzarella." "You know, buffalo," he said. "It's slang for really big." I was silent. "Is...isn't it?" he ventured. "It is not," I said. We stared at each other uneasily. Neither of us had considered the possibility that it might be mozzarella from a buffalo. "Let's ask the True Answers Website," I said, and the True Answers Website showed us a picture of big cheeses being milked out of a water buffalo's breasts. What is this gross feeling? I asked myself. It was disbelief. "I didn't know water buffaloes were still real," I said in a small voice. "I thought they were like mastodons. I thought they were all dead, except for maybe one that got sent to the future and is waiting for us to catch up with it." He popped a huge piece of mozzarella into his mouth. "No wonder it tastes so fresh," he said, and burst into tears.