Saturday, January 30, 2010

I Apologize to Dick Clark, and to Whales

I dreamed a blog post last night, because I was subconsciously anxious that I hadn't updated in a while. It went:

Whale-dicked Dick Clark
sits in the ejector seat,
ejects beluga for me to eat.

That was all, but it seemed that a great mystery had been revealed, and I spent the rest of the night considering its implications. Dick Clark was a whale, sitting in the ejector seat of himself. He would die against his own glass like Goose did! He would break his neck against the ceiling of his own body! But he would also live on, because I ate his beluga. Not the caviar--but the beluga that makes beluga beluga! The thingness of the whale! The thingness of the whale who calls himself Dick Clark!

It seemed so clear at the time.

7 comments:

Shannon said...

ew, I think you should apologize to me

Tricia said...

I do, I apologize so much. Halfway through the post I even had to look up whether or not he was dead.

RHE said...

"I Apologize to Dick Clark, and to Whales"

As well you might. You have not mentioned that Dick Clark has a good beat and he's easy to dance to. You forgot that he done Jerry Lee Lewis bad. And that every December 31st he is slowly lowered into Times Square along with Connie Francis and, I believe, Little Anthony and the Imperials.

As for Wales, what about Owen Tudor? What about Llanelli and a bowl of cawl? Hmmm?

Tricia said...

WAIT ARE WE DOING HOMONYM JOKES NOW

RHE said...

I think we should do any joke that comes to hand. Now take that whale--please. That whale is so fat, that when he sits around the house....

Tricia said...

I saw a copy of SNAPS: The Original Yo' Mama Joke Book at the library sale the other day, Richard. Had I known it was an interest, I would have bought it for you. Fifty cents!

Admiral Farragut said...

No, Tricia, that's pronounced "Fiddy Cent." Keep up, sister.