Thursday, February 04, 2010

This Man Is in Charge of a Newspaper

"What is buffalo mozzarella?" my husband asked me. Neither of us knew exactly. I confessed that I thought it was mozzarella named after a city. He confessed that he thought it was just "really big mozzarella." "You know, buffalo," he said. "It's slang for really big." I was silent. "Is...isn't it?" he ventured. "It is not," I said. We stared at each other uneasily. Neither of us had considered the possibility that it might be mozzarella from a buffalo. "Let's ask the True Answers Website," I said, and the True Answers Website showed us a picture of big cheeses being milked out of a water buffalo's breasts. What is this gross feeling? I asked myself. It was disbelief. "I didn't know water buffaloes were still real," I said in a small voice. "I thought they were like mastodons. I thought they were all dead, except for maybe one that got sent to the future and is waiting for us to catch up with it." He popped a huge piece of mozzarella into his mouth. "No wonder it tastes so fresh," he said, and burst into tears.

6 comments:

Admiral Farragut said...

So Domino's really has been listening to our complaints and is upgrading it's recipe accordingly. I thought my last pie had the distinctive aroma of third-world livestock. I wonder where they keep them in those little bitty shops?

Tricia said...

Domino's wants us to taste God on our pizza. If they could figure out how to milk him they would.

Anonymous said...

milk Him, ahem.

Tricia said...

Or melk Hem, if you come from my part of the country.

steef said...

Buffalo buffalo Buffalo Asian water buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo American bison cheese.

Tricia said...

Oh steef, how did you know? That sentence is my nemesis. I can only get about three buffaloes in before I start to feel like that guy from Flowers for Algernon.