Saturday, October 17, 2009

In Georgia, Happiness Can Be Purchased for Two Dollars at the Local Goodwill

You are asking yourself what is the news? The news is this: we moved our bodies into a miniature apartment in Savannah, Georgia, and busied ourselves making it homey.

Fuck you, SCAD students, I have my own ideas about design! You're looking at a limited edition Anne Geddes Leopard Baby just straight up nailed to the wall. Priceless! That shit is discontinued! Anyway, all praise to a city that provides me with boerewors to eat while reading the 1978 Harlequin classic To Tame a Vixen, set on the South African veld. Whenever possible I try to harmonize what I eat with what I read. Imagine my UTTER DISGUST when I finally managed to scare up a Big Turk to devour during the relevant portions of The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe.

Anyway, the best thing about living in Georgia IS THE POLITICS. Politicians here love nothing more than putting disparaging rat art into their campaign videos, and why? It must be because they love me.


Anonymous said...

The clip art ox makes a persuasive case. Who wouldn't want to vote for an animal which is proverbially strong, dumb and stubborn?

RHE said...

I have researched this carefully, and it turns out that oxen really are stronger than rats, besides which they do not harbor bubonic plague-carrying fleas. Here is a guide to getting the most from your really strong ox:

You should note that I could find no equivalent manual entitled "Yoking and Harnessing Single Rat Tech Guide."

Now if that isn't a reason to choose one man over another to be Governor of Georgia, I can't imagine what is.


Tricia said...

My precious children, your ox insights did not deserve to be ignored! I got no comments notifications for these, for some reason.

RHE said...


I am very fond of you, and I trust you will not be offended to learn that I do not think of myself as one of your children. Au contraire. Whatever the au contraire of "your children" is.

P.S. My word verification this time was aural, rather than written. It sounded like Charlie Chan reciting over a recording of the Beatles' "Revolution No. 9." Curiouser and curiouser.

Tricia said...

It would be better if you did think of yourself as my child, Richard--my baby, even. Try blowing your mind for once!