They made me go to a waterpark! Do you know about these places? They are full of teens, only teens, and everyone is naked so you can't tell how old anyone is, and sometimes you give a girl the NICE BODY nod and then you look closer and realize that she is, like, nine, and then a little perverted tear rolls down your cheek. It must be so confusing to be a man, in this age of irradiated titty-milk! Anyway, I managed to survive the sun and the wetness and the...fun, only to be nearly seduced to death when one of the teen lifeguards came at me with the smoothest line I've ever heard, "Girl, the water at this park is full of AIDS."
Now let us revel in breaking the "no bikini pictures on poetry blogs" rule, because you wouldn't want to miss this: