Thursday, May 15, 2008

Call Me the Auntie of Lies

I spent the last week with my fambly in St. Louis, busting a nut of anger in my father's face, sharing a bed with my little sister, who battered me as she slumbered, who attempted a stealthy kneerape on my person and then laughed out loud, and working to deconstruct the wildly cabalistic jokes of a seven-year old. Examples:

Q: What did the hippopotamus say to the ant?
A. Hey, where are your eyes?

Q. What did the frame say to the statue?
A. Better get burpin'!

Touché, my miniature! In addition, I touched romantically on Henry Shaw

and tricked some kids. Did you know if you bury something shiny in a sandbox, a child will believe it is treasure? Because children are dumb.


john salisbury said...

Long shot: do you happen to know Margaret Anne O'Connor, of St. Louis?
You remind me of her--which, I suppose, might not be viewed as a good thing, unless you're a blood relative. If you knew her you'd take it as a compliment

RHE said...

I always liked Shaw's Garden--well, always until the time I got some exotic pollen in my eye and had to go to the Barnes ER, after which I always liked the Zoo.

I have some longshots, too, if you'd like to be asked about all the people I knew in U City. Of course many of them are dead, and many more ought to be, and that's not even counting Mr Hope, the principal of Daniel Boone Elementary School, now, alas, Barbara Jordan Elementary School. So let me know.

Tricia said...

Hmm, Margaret Anne O'Connor doesn't sound familiar. I lived in St. Louis for a few years in my childhood, and then again when I was a teen. My circle of acquaintance was not very wide.

When did you live in the Lou, RHE? I attended Rosati-Kain high school, which is downtown, so if that rings any bells, ask away.

john salisbury said...

That's University of Missouri St. Louis, she's an academicien

RHE said...

It is a difficult, touchy moment when young women who have just posted really attractive pictures of themselves ask when I lived in University City, and I am forced to confess that it was in....

...gosh, there seems to have been a power failure or a power surge or something there. Oh, well. Let me just say that the rumor that Tom Eliot and I played Red Light, Green Light together is totally unfounded.

Tricia said...

I actually do know a couple people at UMSL, John, so your academicien and I are not as strangerous as I first thought.

RHE, first I had a No Pictures Policy, then I had an Only Pictures Where I Am Perpetrating a Monster Expression Policy, and now I have an Eff It Policy. But what...what is Red Light, Green Light?

RHE said...

It's a children's game from the era of Mother, May I and Duck, Duck, Duck, Goose, which, come to think of it, is the name of one of my poems.

Tricia said...

Oh, I'm just messing with you! I went through a heavy Red Light, Green Light phase back in the summer of 1990.