Sunday, January 14, 2007

I Wanted to Call Jesus The Glowing Smooth-Sexed Santa Lap of Knowingness Instead, to Ripen the Concept with Some Fanciness, but It Didn't Fit

What a marvel is ancient man!
Under the tulip roots he has figured out a way to be a religious animal
And would be a mathematician.

from "How Much Longer Will I Be Able To Inhabit The Divine Sepulcher..."

Being that I am something of a gentleman scientist, I can say with some confidence that this is probably what ancient man looked like--I know that he had fairy ears, for starters, and that he drank water through groiny taproots. His brain was also a yeasty ferment of sophisticated ideas about math, represented here by the resplendent equation 4+4=JESUS, which wants for nothing in terms of symmetry and elegance. The rest of the illustration is fairly self-explanatory; if you're wondering what those tiny figures floating inside the bulbs could possibly be, I laugh at your infirmity of mind and inform you that they are of course tulip fetuses.

8 comments:

Adam said...

we have this tradition that states whenever a capsicum has a fetus, it is thrown in in its entirety and they who are lucky enough to receive it in their portion are the luckiest ones.

that's it.

i tremble as i await your monkeypunch.

Tricia said...

I'd like to receive a capsicum fetus in my portion.

As for my monkeypunch, it will be many-splendored in both its monkey and dinosaur facets, that I can promise you. Expect it sometime next week!

Adam said...

will the dinosaur be baby-headed? i pray that it will.

Tricia said...

My lips are sealed, as are the lips of my dino's head.

Admiral Farragut said...

According to Wikipedia, then, my friend is a Gentleman Sit on the Sofa in his Underwear Drinking Beer, Farting, and Watching Football Playoffs-er as he receives no outside funding for this activity. And heretofore I thought him simply an uncouth lout. Thank Wikipedia! My eyes have been opened!

Tricia said...

My father is one of those as well, though he would be more accurately described as a Gentleman Sit on the Sofa in his Underwear Eating Homemade Pickled Cabbage, Farting, and Listening to Rush Limbaugh on the Radio While He Watches Bill O'Reilly on the Television, AT THE SAME TIME. And he receives tons of funding for those activities, by the way.

Admiral Farragut said...

If he receives funding for such activity, you have to admit that he earns it. For THAT would indeed be hard f'in' work.

Tricia said...

He earns it, all right. He earns it in ass-money!*

*kind of like Monopoly money, except assy