Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Why Is Pure Sound So Hard to Find
There is a beeep beeep beeep in this new apartment, and I'm trying to conquer it with Free Noises from Nature, which isn't working very well because Free Noises from Nature are...bonkers, generally. The first one I tried was Free Rain Sounds and there was an earsplitting CRACK OF THUNDER every fifteen minutes or so which almost gave me a nervous breakdown because I never knew when it was coming. I would be going along about my business hearing rain splashing down and then suddenly a watermelon of doom would break open. I looked for one that was just rain but no, why would you just want rain sounds? Are you sure you don't want some raven caws in there? Are you sure you don't also want some bagpipe music in the background? Are you sure you don't want the occasional scream of a woman being murdered? They're trying to drive me to pay for better sounds, I can tell, because the free ones are all completely unlistenable. I actually found one that was baby snoring. It was straight up just sounds of a baby snoring, and the whole time it played the screen showed you pictures of children sleeping so deeply they looked dead. I listened to it for hours. I'm listening to it right now.