Tuesday, October 05, 2010

TMNT: XX Is the Greatest Mutation of All

Did you know there was briefly a FEMALE Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle? Back in the 80s, during the run of the original cartoon series, the explicit rule was "no female turtles"--the creators, Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird, agreed that a female turtle was "a lame, stupid, creatively bankrupt idea." However, in 1997, a live-action series called Ninja Turtles: The Next Mutation introduced a character named Venus de Milo so that...eventually the Turtles would have someone to have sex with, I guess!

Oh my God they gave her breasts a little bit

Oh my God her shell has a crotch, it is a BODYSUIT,
now everyone is wondering
what her vagina is like

It is amphibious, even more than a regular vagina

OH WHY JESUS NO

Now I'm going to give you the gift of a lifetime. It turns out some people on the internet have thought a lot about the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles getting it on. There is...fan art. Turtles are frenching humans, Turtles are frenching humans with cat faces, Turtles are frenching lizard-women, Turtles are frenching each other. Turtles will be frenching YOU, if you are brave enough to click this link. Surprisingly safe-ish for work!

8 comments:

Phoebe said...

Why yes, I did know that. In fact, I have a Venus action figure sitting on my desk!

(She's making out with my Raph action figure.)

Tricia said...

Ha! Sexy choice, as I understand him to be both "rude" and "cool"

Elisa Gabbert said...

Love that her bandanna is "cyan."

Tricia said...

Duh, because of a little thing I like to call "the Renaissance," which had something to do with paint. I also love how it's braided down her back to simulate hair

Valerie Loveland said...

I was going to give them credit because she had a small chest instead of a huge ridiculous classic comic book lady chest

Tricia said...

Small mercies! Though something about the way her chest is molded makes me stare a little too long, looking for a nipple that never quite materializes

Valerie Loveland said...

At least staring at her chest keeps us from looking at her strange crotch.

Tricia said...

I know--why is it wrinkled like that