Thursday, September 09, 2010

This Article's Plot Summary May Be Too Long or Overly Detailed

Have you visited the Ace Ventura: Pet Detective Wikipedia entry lately? Of course not, why would you, why would anyone. Why did I? I felt Called, and I followed the Call and was richly rewarded, for the Ace Ventura: Pet Detective Wikipedia entry is full of treasure. Allow me to show you exactly what you're missing:

"Ace meets with Lt. Einhorn and alleges that Marino and Snowflake's kidnappings were connected and that Finkle was involved, claiming that the Dolphins gave Snowflake Finkle's old number and taught him how to kick a field goal, which Finkle took as an insult, and that Finkle has waited for years until the next time the Dolphins return to the Super Bowl to extract his vengeance on the Miami Dolphins franchise. Einhorn then comes onto Ace. The two share a kiss (during which Ace feels something that he assumes to be Einhorn's gun digging into his thigh) and tells him she will now handle the rest of the investigation. Ace, still not satisfied with Einhorn's efforts to find Marino and Snowflake, pretends to be mentally challenged to gain access to the institution that Finkle escaped from. Here, Ace discovers evidence that eventually leads him to the realization that Einhorn not only killed Podacter, but apparently Ray Finkle had a partial sex change to become Lois Einhorn and is Ray Finkle in disguise. His sense of triumph is quickly replaced with disgust after realizing that he had kissed someone he perceives as a man, and that the "gun" he felt digging into his thigh earlier was actually the Lt.'s erection.

Ace follows Lt. Einhorn to a remote warehouse by the docks, when all the Miami Police force arrive to arrest Ace on Einhorn's orders. They are stopped by Melissa who has Emilio held hostage. Einhorn screams at the police officers that Ace is behind it all and that he kidnapped Snowflake and was trying to kill Marino and her. Ace explains Einhorn's motives and claims that Einhorn is actually Ray Finkle. Einhorn denies Ace's accusation and looks at him as if he were crazy. No one believes him of course and the police are on Einhorn's side. Therefore Ace trys to find proof of this by trying to remove the Lt.'s hair thinking it to be a wig but it turns out to be real. Einhorn looks at Ace in disgust. Next he rips open the Lt.'s blouse to find two big beautiful feminine breasts. In a last ditch effort before Einhorn can stop him Ace rips of the Lt.'s skirt thinking she still has a penis, but she is in the perfect figure of a woman. Ace has now stripped all of Einhorn's clothes off her beautiful body, there she stands in her bra and panties in the perfect female figure in total shock of what has just happend to her, she begins to start making strange faces and starts bobbing. But as it turns out Einhorn is not in the perfect figure of a woman as she is hiding her penis between her legs. She had learned over the years to tuck her penis and testicles between her legs to hide them. Einhorn's huge penis and testicles are very noticeable as they stick out the back of her silk panties(hence why she always wears skirts so that her penis and testicles are not noticeable). At this time we also notice a large ring on the Lt's finger. The police begin to whisper. Just as Ace is about to give up Marino alerts Ace of this. Einhorn knows she has no hope left. Ace makes a short humiliating speech directed toward Einhorn's identity and then spins the Lt. around so that the whole police force can see Lt. Einhorn's huge penis and her true sexual identity. The whole police force cant believe that such a beautiful and sexy woman is biologically a man, they begin to spit in disgust. Thus coming to the realization that Einhorn killed Podacter because he discovered her penis and that Lois Einhorn is Ray Finkle and she is a transsexual. Einhorn having her penis revealed completely distroys and hummilates her. In rage, Einhorn makes one last attempt to kill Ace but he flips her into the dolphin's tank. Einhorn comes up spitting out water in total defeat. Then Ace removes Ray Finkle's AFC Championship ring from Einhorn's finger and then scuffs mud into the Lt's face to add further to her humiliation. Since Ace has revealed Lois Einhorn is behind everything she is now arrested for all of the crimes."

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