OH MY GOD
OH MY BABY GOD
My older sister has a lot of beautiful little children, six to be exact, and after she had the last one she could no longer cram them all into her huge van. So she bought a huger van, used, that seats twelve people. I assumed that she had gotten it from a church, since they always have to cart around so many believers to camp and zoos and Holy Land Experiences, but no. No.
"I got it from a rapper," she explained, right before she came to pick me up.
"What...what does that mean," I said.
"His name is The Grindup, and he went to prison for a little while, and when he got out he didn't want his van anymore. Okay, I'm pulling up in front of your house now."
I ran to the window, and THIS IS WHAT I SAW:
www.grindup.com is now sadly defunct
"Get in!" she shouted, enormously pleased with herself.
But...but don't I have to be murdered before I can get in a van like that