Wednesday, May 26, 2010

ART

Are you ready to see the worst painting that has ever reflected the light of this particular sun?


HA HA HA. I don't remember exactly when I painted this, but I'm pretty sure I was in high school, so: old enough to know that eyewhites are not usually taupe, old enough to know that skulls are not heart-shaped think-asses crowned with cascading hair. Her chest-skin is my favorite, so chunky and nice--I love the way it melts over her curls. This is what you get for raising your children to be super-Catholics, people: fake icons of dead-eyed sadwomen wearing so much lipliner. The implication, I think, is that Little Christ is probably hanging off one boob down there, showering us with his trademark mercy by remaining just out of frame.

14 comments:

Shannon said...

The marks on the side give me the impression this painting was used as a window shutter or cabinet door. If this is not the case, I think you should make it happen.

Patricia Lockwood said...

Shannon, do you want to know the truth? Those are hinges, because this was originally...a DIPTYCH.

Shannon said...

WHERE IS THE OTHER HALF??

Valerie Loveland said...

The poor woman thinks she picked the perfect hairstyle to disguise the shape of her head, but it isn't hiding anything!

Patricia Lockwood said...

Valerie, it is clearly a butt, it is clearly such a butt.

Shannon, oh my God, the other half...was a prose poem. No one can ever read it, or Art will be so angry.

Admiral Farragut said...

So,Picasso had his blue period and you had your ocher period. When you are famous they will call this genius and the other half of the diptych will go for $2.5 million at Southeby's. Art is a waggish fellow.

the IMAGINATIVE ACTION REGIME said...

i love this.

Patricia Lockwood said...

It's a gift from my sixteen-year-old self to the world!

M-----l said...

I'll give you $50 for it. I need that painting in my bathroom right now.

Patricia Lockwood said...

It would be so impossible to pee in front of her.

Richard Epstein said...

Looks like a bad Dylan album cover. Still, as someone who still draws stick figure men, stick figure women, trees like lollipops, and birds like Vs, I am not inclined to be hypercritical.

Patricia Lockwood said...

A stick figure wins any day, over this. A stick figure comes closer to actual human form.

Jehanne Dubrow said...

A diptych. That is the best thing I've read all day. Now, if only we could see that accompanying prose poem...

Patricia Lockwood said...

I think it was religious...and also sexy. That was a favored combination of mine in those days!