Tuesday, April 20, 2010

PROBLEM: Solved

I am growing strawberries and they are all named Jolene; "Jolene" is the only name a strawberry wants and all the other names are illegal (I asked Yahoo! about this). However, just before my Jolenes get fully ripe the birds swoop down and take little beakfuls out of them. How can they be stopped? Is it time for me to invest in a terrifyingly realistic owl statue?


Soooo true to life--it almost appears to be breathing! The birds will scream when they encounter its empty eyes and flowing breast-hair; they will grow faint at the sight of its tummy-scales and terrier ears. The beak is a duck-butt disappearing into a dog's face: too late for me, sobs the duck-butt, but not too late for you! And the birds will turn tail and fly and my strawberries will be safe.

4 comments:

Admiral Farragut said...

"Too late for me but not too late for you!" Jeez, darlin', THAT is funny!

Tricia said...

It's the first funny thing I've ever said in my life!

Nic Sebastian said...

I want that statue for my office. It's wonderful.

Tricia said...

Imagine it sitting on top of your papers, staring at you quizzically. You could put glasses on it.