Friday, March 05, 2010

Add Your Own!

This review in the New York Times made me actually laugh out loud. People, it would maybe be cool if we could discuss a woman's poems without calling them "as slim as runway models." Here are some other options:

These poems are at once see-through and opaque, like the hose a Hooters waitress wears.

Her poems pirouette effortlessly across the stage of the page. The reader never detects a scent of sweat emanating from their Ballerina Author, and never guesses at the hideous, twisted feet that must enable her to leap so high.

These poems are deeply attenuated to their surroundings. If Emerson was a Transparent Eyeball who was able to see all, this poet is a Pink Nipple who is able to feel all. She stands stiff in the air-conditioned room of the world.

These are rich, decadent poems--so rich and decadent that I imagined the author groaning aloud as she wrote them, like a woman eating yogurt in the bath.

7 comments:

Radish King said...

This poet is so powerful she extrudes premenstrual dysphoric disorder while wearing really good shoes and perfectly lip syncing Kelly Clarkson. In space.

Radish King said...

ps. Sorry. I couldn't stop!

Tricia said...

YESSS

Admiral Farragut said...

Ahem. "Her poems are sexy bitches: as transparent as a stripper's shoes, the verses seem to spin in opposite directions like her tassels."

Tricia said...

Ooo, nice with the tassels!

word verification: cholt

Sean said...

"Her epizeuxes like Chambord, her anaphorae like rivulets of cherry brandy, her epistrophes like blackberry spirits, her antanaclases like bittersweet amaretto, her tricolons as unto a mingling of tropical juices, her shapely interposing tmeses like citron in vodka! One wishes to pour her poetry over shaved ice, shake the elaboration firmly, and make suck of it through a gaily colored straw."

Tricia said...

SO GOOD, way to really expand on his freshly-made cocktails remark!