Sunday, January 17, 2010

Question: Why Am I Not a Highly-Paid Advertising Executive

ME: I just don't understand why they have to put dye in everything. Kids all over the nation are having shocking Boo Berry craps and no one even cares.

MOM: They put it in medicine!


MOM: I was reading the back of an emetic bottle once, and the ingredients included blue dye. Why put it in something you're going to throw up?

ME: Whoa, hold on, that sounds wonderful actually--they should advertise their product around that concept. IF YOU GOTTA DO IT, MAKE IT BEAUTIFUL.

MOM: It would soon be the most successful emetic by far.

ME: The commercial shows a child in slow motion throwing up a rainbow. The rainbow writes across the bottom of the screen: YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL ON THE INSIDE. BARF IT OUT. The camera cuts to a toilet bowl full of chunks, and the chunks are totally prisms.


Radish King said...

I don't know why you are the Empress of the entire universe.

wv: Blerlin. It's the lesser Berlin.

SarahJane said...

Actually I find your advertising strategy pretty good. I would be a customer for this good product.

Tricia said...

I would prefer to be the EmperOR, Rebecca; the Emperor when he is crowned receives a new penis made out of silk and rubies.

I would be a customer also! My pukes are pretty good already, but they could always be improved.

Radish King said...