Saturday, November 29, 2008

You Are Invited

Come back, I'm still alive! Elegant Choice is also alive, in his way, and feeling a bit better. Do not fear, when he does die I will liveblog his hilarious funeral for you, like so:

8:00 PM: The organist begins playing "Rictus Face, Rictus Face," a funeral march composed especially for the occasion.

8:02 PM: At the exact moment the final chord is sounded, a Baby Alive is hanged from the highest point of the church's ceiling, to signify the child we'll never have.

8:03 PM: My niece, wearing the same flower-girl dress she wore at our wedding, walks solemnly down the aisle and flings handfuls of her own hair at the weeping guests.

8:05 PM: A miniature man climbs a potted orange tree and defecates a pre-inserted rope of pearls on the altar.

2 comments:

Admiral Farragut said...

News of your survival is joyously received! The ol' Admiral was gettin' anxious. Oh, and "Rictus Face, Rictus Face" was the original working title of Mozart's "Requiem."

Tricia said...

Yay! I hope to update like a real person soon.