The One of Me Unzipping My Pants in a Graveyard Didn't Come Out

I disappeared! I fled from you like a refugee that is also a deer. My parents were down in Savannah for a romantic getaway, and Savannah is just a few hours north of us, so they invited us to visit for a few days. "How is THAT romantic?" I asked my mother. "Just you wait and see," was her mysterious response. Sure enough, it wasn't long after I arrived that my father mentioned that my mom's perfume was "an aphrodisiac for him," and suggested that I "try some on." "That...didn't come out right, Dad," I said. "No it did not," he responded. "ROMANTIC," my mother screamed. Anyway, here are the pictures.

These pictures were giving me mental illness every time I scrolled past them, so I took them away! We are capable of so much intensity that pictures of us are practically deadly. We should be more responsible about how we use our awful power in the future.

It just occurred to me that I am somehow wearing the same shirt in those pictures as I was wearing in the last pictures I posted; I think I am supposed to care about this but I just don't! Now get ready for some amazement. The true highlight of the trip was this: my mother had found a packet of hundreds of my Teenage Poems, and she delivered them into my care only after extracting a promise from me that I will not burn them. Because of posterity! Here is my favorite in its entirety, you will laugh so much:

The Stoning

We are civilized,
we are civilized,
we pave the roads we walk on.

Incredible work, fifteen-year-old self! If you didn't hear a clash of significant cymbals in your mind as you came to the end of that masterpiece, then you are doing it wrong.