Behold the cover of my unwritten fantasy novel Hellmouth Blows a Bubble. I have often wondered why so much digital artwork is populated with dragons and elves and mystic eyes and spirits of the air in fairy panties. The answer is: because it wants to be. Look! I meant to draw an animal picnic, but this is what you get.
Friday, January 11, 2008
Look Out, I Think I Just Won a Hugo
Behold the cover of my unwritten fantasy novel Hellmouth Blows a Bubble. I have often wondered why so much digital artwork is populated with dragons and elves and mystic eyes and spirits of the air in fairy panties. The answer is: because it wants to be. Look! I meant to draw an animal picnic, but this is what you get.
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A BEAVER BUBBLE
The beaver, besides cousin to those
Assiduous rodents of which Tricia’s so fond,
Is the vented, bristling, convex
Portion of warrior headgear–as if Polyphemus
Were a girl, her gouged eye a bellybutton–
From the French, baver, to dribble, or drool.
“Wore he his beaver up?” asked Hamlet
Of his soldier chums–the Prince
Loved rubbing elbows with the troops–
Meaning, how serviced he her
Without wearing his beaver bare. Yet just
As ballena becomes whale, baver,
In a corollary etymology’s etiology,
Or cousin, becomes visor, that by which
The known may remain unknown, how ken
Meant helmet, face or handsome, and kenning
A repetitious, obtuse sort of poetry,
Metallic tasting as brass in a whistle.
Ha! I see what you did there!
I'm not sure why you want to win a Yugo. You deserve better. A Javelin, maybe, or a Gremlin.
Oh, car puns! We need more of those.
I was typing a response which began, "Jesus Chrysler, you can't a-Ford car puns. They don't come Jeep," but knowing that you wouldn't care for that, I decided not to.
Mom? Mom, is that you?
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