Sunday, May 20, 2007

I Dare You to Name Your Band This

Today in the shower I spent a disbelieving half-hour reminiscing about my early William Jesus Tell phase, during which I was obsessed with drawing parallels between God the Father and William Tell. The poems would go a little something like this: Adam, stooped under the weight of the apple on his head*, passes the apple to Jesus, who accepts the burden, knowing full well that at some point in the future his Father will be put to the test, and will be asked to shoot the apple off his son Jesus' head**, but his father, understanding what is required of him by humankind and history, will decide to shoot the arrow into his face instead***, which maneuver will knock the apple off anyway when Jesus falls insensible and bleeding to the ground! Nicely done, William God the Father Tell!

*Get it?
**Zing!
***Minimal liminal sin of the world, POOF!

3 comments:

Richard Epstein said...

And of course your parable offers an opportunity for High Mandarin Academic allusion to Baldur, Loki, Gioachino Rossini, The Lone Ranger, Robin Hood, Lew Archer, The Green Arrow, Target Superstores, Apple Annie, Beau Brummel (or Bridges) (or Geste), and Fruit of the Loom . Who could ask for anything more?

Anonymous said...

Your genius dazzles with the brilliance of a nuclear blast and leaves the beholder's eyes melting on his cheeks. Why you have not organized your own televized religion along these lines is a mystery wrapped in an enigma and rolled in a corn tortilla. My dollar is in the envelope awaiting only the revelation of the Church of the William Jesus Tell's address.

Patricia Lockwood said...

Wheels within wheels, Richard; wheels within wheels.

Admiral, I lack only a webcam! And once you see my special ritualistic church garments, you'll be tempted to send more than a freaking dollar, you miserly douche.