Sunday, March 25, 2007


The Maldive Shark

About the Shark, phlegmatical one,
Pale sot of the Maldive sea,
The sleek little pilot-fish, azure and slim,
How alert in attendance be.
From his saw-pit of mouth, from his charnel of maw,
They have nothing of harm to dread,
But liquidly glide on his ghastly flank
Or before his Gorgonian head;
Or lurk in the port of serrated teeth
In white triple tiers of glittering gates,
And there find a haven when peril's abroad,
An asylum in jaws of the Fates!
They are friends; and friendly they guide him to prey,
Yet never partake of the treat --
Eyes and brains to the dotard lethargic and dull,
Pale ravener of horrible meat.

--Herman Melville

Do you know that I am currently reading Moby-Dick for the first time? I am twenty-four years old--imagine how small I feel. Also how furious that there is apparently this whole second Bible that no one ever told me about, least of all my parents, the douchebergs. What was I so busy reading that I had no time for Moby-Dick? Farmer Boy? Probably; I could not get enough of that Almanzo person. Anyway, my research informed me that Melville also dabbled in poetry, so it seemed only fitting that I should choose a line of his to celebrate, and why not this one? CAW! See how pale he is, the ravener; see how horrible the meat!


Anonymous said...

he looks just like a priest I know

steef said...

Wait... are those T-bones? That's horrific. Awesome!

Tricia said...

Anonymous: No, the eyes are too big, the nostrils too small.

steef: They are! I thought the nasty marbling might not be enough to identify them as, you know, horrible meat. I have this problem with not trusting my audience.

SarahJane said...

i'm nearly twice your age and never read moby dick. i will never amount to anything. maybe if i end up doing some prison time i'll get around to it?

Tricia said...

The thing no one ever told me about Moby-Dick is that the chapters are quite short--generally only two or three pages, making it a much faster read than I expected. Also, it will set your face on fire. I propose that you assault me vigorously in order to get thrown in the poky, then I will be able to take some credit for the miracle of your spontaneous and glorious facebustion.