Tuesday, February 20, 2007

The One on the Top Left Is Kafka, and the One on the Bottom Is Some Famous Dead Commie with His Snout Shot Full of Holes

The phrase in question is of course taken from the poem "Novices," in which context it is used to refer to authors, who are "'wonderful people, particularly those that/ write the most,'/ the masters of all languages, the supertadpoles of expression." My caricaturing skills do leave something to be desired, but I'll give you a hint: the one on the top right is totally Mark Twain! Anyway, on to business. Today's entry is an X-Treem Kulaburtiv F-Urt, for Elegant Choice contributed the facial configuration of one of the tadpoles. Excuse me, one of the supertadpoles. The super part is mostly attributable to the startling muscularity of their fully mature frog-legs. The expressions displayed by the supertadpoles are, in no particular order: Anguish: My Open Mouth Is Crammed Full of Red Ass; Indignation: This Tail-Tongue Is Not to Be Borne; Relish: Whose Would Not Salivate At the Thought of Licking Such a Double Eye; Weeping: How Do You Like Your Six-Nostrilled Cat-Pig Mr Death; Inscrutability: This Mustache Could Be Hiding Anything; and Reticence: You Can't Tell What Emotion My Face Is Showing Because This Mystique-Reeking Veil Obscures My Fleshy Lips. I'll give you a million dollars if you can guess which is the work of his small hands! Oh, you win, the man never passes up the chance to draw a princess.

Speaking of a million dollars, I want one of these so bad. Think how quickly I could produce new drawings if most of my time were not spent wrangling with with appalling inadequacies of the Paint program, not to mention a jerky mouse! Though I should probably figure out a way to buy a new camera first. You have no idea how much I wanted to superimpose an image of my own supernaturally-mobile face over one of the tadpole heads, but woe, it was impossible.

2 comments:

Jee Leong said...

My heart goes out to Anguish. Ass.

Jee

Patricia Lockwood said...

Truly; he is the one I have the most fellow-feeling for. He can't ever close his jaws, or the roof of his mouth will bring down such a gummy spanking.