This is the part where I challenge John Ashbery himself, if he is not too much of a coward, to come to this party dressed as my wizened, duplicate father--the wizened, duplicate father of us all! Failing that, I challenge the rest of you to come to this party dressed as John Ashbery dressed as my wizened, duplicate father, if that construction does not grip your balls too badly with the cold fist of confusion.
My father, by the way, when he was not dressed as a priest, usually appeared wearing only glasses, an enormous pair of white underwear, and a Breathe-Right strip. Duplicate that if you can!
6 comments:
So I would need to come dressed as though I were John Ashbery dressed as your father dressed as a priest wearing only glasses, an enormous pair of white underwear, and a Breathe-Right strip?
Hmm. I think I'd rather come dressed as your father who art in Heaven. Hallowed would be my name (as opposed to John Ashbery), and I'd be both invisible and ubiquitous. In the alternative, I could come dressed as myself dressed as John Ashbery dressed as your father, which would require me to appear in a pink or blue polo short, a pair of blue 501s, and deck shoes or, if Rebecca is going to be there, Converse All-Stars. This would signify that I had been lost in the maze of my own sentences, and my name was Richard, rather than Hallowed. Let me know.
In the alternative, I could come dressed as myself dressed as John Ashbery dressed as your father, which would require me to appear in a pink or blue polo short, a pair of blue 501s, and deck shoes or, if Rebecca is going to be there, Converse All-Stars.
You are exploding my brain with possibilities, Richard. Of course, you could always throw a Breathe-Right strip on top of all that, as a nod to those loins that--wait for it--breathed life into me!
*to self*
hey, how did he know about the allstars?
Because RHE isn't an actual person--he is a knowledgeable burning eye in the sky, and he knows many secrets about many of us.
yikes.
Yes, you have taken the word right out of my mouth.
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