Friday, July 01, 2011

These Quotes Will Not Cease Till My Mother Goes Mute

You know I told him he'll do anything to get famous. It was Dick Cheney, and you know one of his daughters-in-law had the first baby of the year. They put her on the front page of the newspaper. And then there was the time with the deer. The two deer that just came crashing through the plate-glass window. They weren't just babies, they were big deer. Well, one of them was a baby. Can you imagine just sitting there eating, these deer come crashing through, running all around and terrorizing the customers. They caught the baby! I said Steve, now you're a pretty big guy, but that's a wild animal. It's injured, and it could be violent. I said what you needed is one of your guns. Then we could all have had venison for breakfast the next day.

*laughs wildly*

5 comments:

Whimsy said...

Your mother's every word should go straight to Twitter.

Patricia Lockwood said...

Twitter could not "deal with it"

Ivy said...

Now that's some prose poem right there. Surreal.

beth coyote said...

Wow. The natural conclusion was venison for breakfast. Of course, right?

Wow.

Patricia Lockwood said...

Ivy, she is a literary diamond in the rough

beth -- I fear she might be a Maniac