Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Whoops

So I think I am not allowed to go to literary readings anymore! I went to this one last Friday and it was at a bar and Elegant Choice was late picking me up and by the time he got there I was smoking a total stranger's cigar and making friends with a ripped male terror who kept telling me, "I saw your wide eyes and I knew you was a German!" I have no idea. Also I tried to force Keith Lee Morris to draw a picture of a dog wearing an army hat in my book but he demurred and signed it, Imagine these words are a drawing of a dog, which nearly killed me with deepness, and then later he took down the hugest most intricate pile of nachos I've ever seen in my life. Respect. Then I collaborated on a drunken napkin with a fine fellow who shared my love for David Foster Wallace and cardigans. I drew my specialty: Explicit Pig with a Snout Where a Snout Should Not Be, and he drew a sheep dressed as Michael Jackson, which might have sparked a debate on the nature of clothes and whether sheep could be said to wear sweaters. "Must a sweater be separate from the self in order to be a sweater?" I screamed, and then scrawled this incoherent legend on the napkin: THE IMPORTANT THING IZ THA WOOL. I woke up the next morning smelling like a creepy uncle, probably because of my bad cigar decision. Do not ever smoke one! I inhaled just the tiniest bit and instantly burst into tears, partly with sadness for my lost innocence, partly because it had poisoned me.

7 comments:

Admiral Farragut said...

I love people who know how to have fun! It's a dying art.

Tricia said...

My two-drink extroversion is beautiful to behold

JMH said...

I've linked to you again. I hope you don't mind. Your economy of words and absurdity of experience makes for good reading I think.

sybil law said...

Fantastic!
(Here via JMH.)
Sounds like an excellent time, though. Worth it.

Tricia said...

JMH you are a delight and I love when you link to me--I am remiss in not linking you also! I will fix that as soon as I'm not under the influence of so much cold medicine

Welcome sybil, and it was TOTALLY worth it, that is until the next-day shameover felled me like a tree

Kono said...

i like to inhale cigars just to get lightheaded, i'm a bit weird that way, that reading was in Savannah? gorgeous little city, if i wasn't so attached to the Rust Belt i'd consider moving there... and dug Keith Lee Morris's last book, here again via JMH.

Tricia said...

Savannah is THE BEST, I am so heartbroken that we have to leave

And Keith Lee Morris was very nice, it was sad the way I assaulted him