Thursday, July 08, 2010

Awww, BUTTONS!

Today my mail opened her mouth and buttons rolled out, how often does that happen? It has never happened before for anyone! The cause of this urp was JEFF BAHR, a largehearted internet king. He took a kind interest in my Button Tarot and sent me a whole collection of good ones: palm trees, anchors, cathedrals, balloons, a terrifying teddy humping the inner curve of a crescent moon. Praise him! When the Button Tarot is complete he will receive the first reading, and it will be freaking incredible. Be advised, however, I have had to revise my concept of the Devil based on new information.

 The flash reveals her true nature

10 comments:

Admiral Farragut said...

What is the secret attraction between bears and the moon? I have seen this icon before and it vexes me greatly. In Norse mythology a large wolf devours the moon, but in what strange cult does a bear hump the moon? Does this explain all the craters? Is the Great Bear working his way through the solar system? Will he come for us next? Will he one day HUMP the SUN itself? I am reduced to my primeval self, crouching fearfully in a cave cringing from the furious wrath of the Great Bear and his junk.

Anonymous said...

It is so, so beautiful

Tricia said...

Is it an either/or thing, I wonder--does a teddy want to fuck either the sun OR the moon, or is there a Kinsey Scale that allows the teddies to exist along a light-filled spectrum, with the sun on the left and the moon on the right?

ron hardy said...

So I wikied Ursa Major and Minor and found that Minor contains the little dipper while Major has the big dipper or plough as it is called in England. Plouging and dipping. Dipping and ploughing. It seems the Bears have been fucking with us for a long time. Also this peculiar gem, kind of a galactic triptik:
In Theosophy, it is believed the Seven Stars of the Pleiades focus the spiritual energy of the Seven Rays from the Galactic Logos to the Seven Stars of the Great Bear, then to Sirius, then to the Sun, then to the god of Earth (Sanat Kumara), and finally through the seven Masters of the Seven Rays to the human race. The seven Masters can explain all this, I'm sure.

ron hardy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Admiral Farragut said...

The Seven Masters? Ron, do you mean Ben Hogan, Byron Nelson, Arnold Palmer, Jack Nicklaus, Sam Snead, Gary Player, and Tiger Woods? And what do their Galactic Logos have to say to us except, in Tiger's case, "Swoosh?"

ron hardy said...

Admiral, I believe you are correct. Swoosh is the Word and those are the sacred seven. And one of them shall be known as the Golden Bear. And he shall have highlights and carry a spoon.

Tricia said...

You boys should write a CONSTELLATION FANFIC

Admiral Farragut said...

The old ones say that "When the Golden Bear consummates his electrum love with the silver moon, the heavens shall be filled with the sweet songs of birdies and the day of the green garment shall begin." So it is written, so let it be done.

Verification: "aboffeth" which is clearly a reference to old English boffing.

ron hardy said...

I await the coming of green pajamas and cuban cigars, Admiral. Verifications have a certain synchro to them don't they?