Thursday, March 18, 2010

United States v. One Book Called Ulysses

Do you ever stare at your computer so hard that you lose all depth perception, and then when you go to take a drink of water, you just pour it all over your face? That's been happening to me a lot lately. Elegant Choice comes home from work and sees a wet shirt and says, hopefully, "Is it erotic?" and I sigh, "It depends what you like--I was trying to think of a good synonym for shinny."

I saw the parade yesterday! My favorite float was the orthopedic surgeon's, which featured crutches and walking casts and a walker decorated with shamrocks. I also picked up a copy of the local paper, which was printed on nauseous green paper, and came across a YOU MIGHT BE IRISH article which featured the following gem:

"You might be Irish if you've actually read James Joyce's 'Ulysses'--and think it's funny and true."

You might be Irish if you've actually read James Joyce's "Ulysses"--and think it's funny and true. I read it out loud several times, trying to wrap my head around it. I repeated it to myself throughout the day whenever I wanted to feel insane. You might be Irish if you've actually read James Joyce's "Ulysses"--and think it's funny and true. It gets weirder and weirder the more you think about it. It makes me feel like I live in a parallel universe where Ulysses is not a seminal modernist novel but actually, like, a Bathroom Reader written by the Irish equivalent of Jeff Foxworthy. Ulysses! So funny and true!

4 comments:

Shannon said...

I have tried to read Ulysses at least five times in my life and have been unable to get past page 50. I've been to the tower the first scene takes place in though!

I don't understand "The Dead" either. It bothers me that most Irish literature is totally wasted on me. I like John McGahern and that's about it.

Tricia said...

Have you tried Flann O'Brien--The Third Policeman, maybe?

RHE said...

The Denver Post ran an obituary for Molly Bloom last week. She was 101. I thought she'd be older than that by now. The notice did not conclude, "yes yes yes," which was an opportunity missed by someone.

Tricia said...

Poor newspapers, so confused by James Joyce!

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