Thursday, December 31, 2009

Consumerism Is Bad, So Steal Things from Priests

I am back, from Christmas! These were my best ornaments this year, a cat holding a platter of volcanoes and a triceratops with Problems:


And these were my best presents! Elegant Choice gave me a little notebook with Totoro on the front:

And CATBUS on the back:

My mother gave me a phone that she stole from an elderly priest, who did not deserve it:

And Santa gave me the most mysterious picture of all time. Here is the front of it:

And this is the back:

This stone has been leaning more and more for some 25 years. If I had tragically died at the age of 25, I would have had that put on my monument. But I didn't, "luckily," so I am here to wish you a Happy New Year!

11 comments:

Sam said...

I'd love to get a close-up of the inlay on the dial of that phone. Is that (gulp) rococo I spy?

Happy New Year, Kendalls!

Valerie Loveland said...

You are going to be making the fanciest calls on that phone!

My uncle is an antiques dealer and he has a 1940's phone booth in his house!

I'm jealous of both of you.

RHE said...

But can you order pizza on that phone? Can you deliver absolution, extreme unction, and pizza?

Tricia said...

Sam, the picture is so huge that if you click on it you can probably see--the tiny painting in the middle appears to be a fake Gone with the Wind scenario? Romantic and vaguely Confederate looking?

Valerie, it's from the early sixties. From RadioShack, so hilarious. We haven't tried to hook it up yet, but it appears to be a working phone.

Richard, my dad used to leave his little Extreme Unction kit lying around the house. It looked so magical and I always wanted to play with it. I also used to eat unblessed hosts as snacks. I have a long history of stealing from priests.

rachel said...

EXCUSE ME PLEASE WHY HAVE YOU LOCKED NOT-A-FINGER

RHE said...

"little Extreme Unction kit "

I remember Little Extreme Unction. It came with a basting brush for applying holy oils and a low-wattage light bulb for roasting unrepentent sinners. One of my Gentile friends had the Easy Exorcism kit, too, with the 360° spinning head and the plastic projectile expulsions. Don't you miss the carefree days of childhood innocence?

Admiral Farragut said...

Oh, comments board! Where is thy sting?

Oh. "Sting" is my verification word.

"Asked and answered, counselor! Next question!"

Okay. Are unblessed hosts lighter and fluffier than angel food cake? How about Three Musketeers, which are noted for their fluffiness? And remember, you are still under oath!

Weekend Press said...

i have never had PHONE ENVY before. i think this is the next phone apple should unveil. literally, this phone is so hot it should wear a bridal veil.

Tricia said...

The same reason anyone locks a blog, Rachel; I went back and read it and went UGH.

Admiral, unblessed hosts taste delicious, like little cardboard crackers. I have always been partial to food that tastes like extremely crunchy nothing.

Richard, it is fun to be called a Gentile! Do it again.

Ana, I KNOW, right now I am using it as a rack for my hats but when I get it plugged in and working I am going to call the Queen.

Weekend Press said...

and then the queen will call the kremlin and say: it's time.

Tricia said...

YES