Yesterday Elegant Choice threatened to quit his position as my benefactor unless I showed him my new poems. A hissy slapfight ensued. Reenactment:
"Why should I let you read the new poems?" I asked. "The last one you read, you said it was 'too much about a rat.' That was your whole criticism! That it was too much about a rat!"
"It was too much about a rat. The whole thing was about a rat!"
"You're too much about a rat," I responded, enraged. "Your whole thing is about a rat."
"If you don't show them to me, I'll stop benefacting you. I'll take away all your benefactions!"
"TAKE THEM AWAY RIGHT NOW," I shrieked, slopping my water all over my face. "NO MORE WATER FOR ME, I'LL DRINK FROM THE RIVER."
"You'll get hookworms!"
"And I'll catch your tiny fish on them."
So today I am looking for a fresh benefactor, preferably one who happens to be wealthy and rat-loving. Crispin Glover it is! I will inform him of this nomination immediately.
P.S. I am so remiss, I failed both to acknowledge King Wallace's birthday on the 2nd and the one-year anniversary of this blog on the 22nd. Fear not, however, I will throw us a belated art-party in short order.