I spent some quality time on my vacation observing the pappin' of some creatures, and on the morning of my return felt seized by the urge to communicate some of the smeary majesty of that experience to you, my people. Here, then, is a painting of my sister administering a miniature pap to a mouse. "We do this," she explained, "in order to monitor the estrus cycle." I knew all about it, though, and shocked her with my knowledge of copulatory plugs. "But how?" she cried. "You never went to college!" "Ho," I responded, "I am a college."