TOTAL CHAOS FOREVERMONTH: Admiral Farragut

Elegant Choice and I returned yesterday night from a brief impulsive excursion to Savannah, and I was delighted to discover a nasty artistic treat awaiting my arrival. Loyal reader and fruitful contributor Admiral Farragut has taken it upon himself to illustrate a poem of his own brainy making! He writes, "Perhaps not as inspirational as the original, but making up the lack with its down-home, rock-solid practicality:

I know why the caged bird sings.
It's a bird in a cage. It has nothing to do but eat, crap, sing, or die.
Lacking hands or fingers it cannot even take up basket-weaving
or decorating its cage with artistic swirls
of its own feces.

I know why the caged bird sings.
It's the same reason that I watch television."

I must disagree, good Admiral. I find this about a billion times more inspirational than the original. Is it the part about basket-weaving that heartens me so, or the part about crapping and singing? Impossible to say.