Friday, April 13, 2007
TOTAL CHAOS FOREVERMONTH: I've Never Regretted Anything Else I've Posted, Why Start Now?
Oh my God. It is so early that I feel like I've been peeled. As you know, I am one of these people who rarely ventures forth into consciousness before noon or so, largely because of an irrational belief that the young sun is capable of sucking my life-force like a cat, but today I had to wake up at 7:30 because I am visiting the lady-doctor. I had to get a new one, because the last doctor had a thick incomprehensible accent, referred to Plan B as the "abortion pill," and recommended that I start taking Ortho-Tricyclen in order to "reduce facial hairiness." I don't know if you know this, and it's hard to tell from the pictures, but I am basically a Sphynx. There is no facial hairiness to contend with, though I often wish for something waxable and villainous. So this guy is new, and what's he going to tell me, that I have genius labia? Like he could even recognize genius labia if they softly bit his face. That my cervix is actually a tiny stack of gold coins? Because I already knew that.