Like millions of American's, I do have trouble toileting myself? I have trouble wiping. However, I also consider myself an aesthete, and so I am holding out for a toilet in the Tuscan style, ringed by leaping fish, presided over by King Triton. His trident shoots a jet of water to clean you where you need it most. Tourists want to visit this toilet. When you see it you'll want to swallow a penny and then eject it from your bottom into glittering water as you make a wish, and your wish is: may this toilet time never end ...
This reminds me of that scene in Crocodile Dundee when figures out what the bidet is for and leans out the window of the fancy hotel and yells to the American reporter lady, "it's for washing your backside!"
I'm pretty sure the only thing I remember from that movie is when the woman takes off her shoes and steps on people's heads in the airport
this is exactly what I need, never mind the toilet because actually i already own that toilet and i highly recommend it, but this blog.
a poem is a joke, indeed. Awesomeness.
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