Friday, October 08, 2010


What a beautiful JonBenét

It took me like three hours
to finish the shading on your upper lip

You're not even trying 
this is basically Chewbacca 

The Creative Poodle Owner
Should Never Feel Restricted

The extremely tiny Poodle is designated a toy.
Ten inches describes a miniature. Neon light 
is the best for Poodle grooming. Visualize 
your Poodle as a living canvas. Snip and comb, 
snip and comb. Never be lax, and never be brutal.
Give the face a quizzical expression. Full ears are 
also very attractive. Scissor evenly for a hedge-like 
look. If you wish to have rosettes. The head should 
have a sheep-like look. For a lion-like appearance. 
There is no distinct "Poodle" shape. The pompon 
on the tail. The pompon on the head. The pompon round and high.
Rinse the dog. It should squeak when you stroke it.
Dress the Poodle in finery. You can spend anywhere
from fifty cents for a dog toy to two hundred dollars
for a mink coat, and all for your Poodle. Shock
your friends and please your enemies. He may be
a spoiled mother's darling, but not vicious. Chew sticks
made of rawhide, tug-of-war toys. Poodle reigns,
..................................and will reign, king of them all.

--from Know How to Clip a Poodle, by Dana Miller


Valerie Loveland said...

Thanks for posting my new favorite poem!

(And thanks for posting my new favorite punk rock poodle photo.)

Patricia Lockwood said...

Best fifty cents I ever spent, hands down

Anonymous said...

tricia this poem is truly possessed of a stunt-cat level of genius!

Patricia Lockwood said...

Let's get the stunt-cat and the Poodle together and let them FREAK IT

Christine E. Hamm, Poet/Professor/Painter said...

I like how "If you wish to have rosettes." is just hanging out there on its own. Lovely piece. It squeaks.

Patricia Lockwood said...

When you stroke it with your eyes

Anonymous said...

what does it mean this FREAK IT?

Patricia Lockwood said...

Total sex euphemism