Who Am I Kidding, I'll Probably Do That Anyway

For the past few days I have been hard at work on my costume, which incorporates cardboard, glittery fake snow, and possibly some hay if you are lucky. I am also making a costume for my husband (whom I will henceforth refer to as Elegant Choice), mainly because he has bad ideas, but also because whenever I ask him about kindergarten, he sighs and says, “I just couldn’t cut like they wanted me to.” My costume is almost finished, and when I put it on and stick some hay where it needs to go, I feel magnificent.

However, if I do not start seeing some more submissions soon, I will be forced to make many, many more costumes for myself, and after a while I’ll get lazy and just start posting artistic photos of anonymous cooches and calling them crude foyers. Consider yourselves warned!