Obscene Freeze-Frames from Fraggle Rock: The Animated Series

The oldest Doozer spreads for you, he is naked 

and unashamed, even in still photographs

his antennae seem to quiver,

his whole body is one sex organ

and he is smooth between the legs

My guess is this is a blowjob monster? 

A bj monster. A buzhay monster

(my pronunciation of a French sex act)

Why do nightmares always 

come in through the ceiling

FYI

I have two poems in the new issue of PANK, about rubies and hell and alphabet machines, so you can go look at those if you like! ALSO, I should have posted about all these a long time ago, but I forgot and then it seemed too late but the magazines are so nice to print you in the first place so I will say it here: I have poems in the last or the current issues of Denver Quarterly, AGNI, Poetry Northwest, RATTLE, Hayden's Ferry Review, New Orleans Review, Notre Dame Review, and The Journal. (The Journal actually has a new website, and you can read "The Perfumer's Nose in Profile" here.) Thank you magazines! I love you very much. OH, and the graphic designer Anne Bryant illustrated one of the poems that appeared in Poetry Northwest, and that has never happened before, and you can see it here. THANK YOU ANNE BRYANT THE WASP LOOKS REAL

A Toilet Is a Rose Growing Out of the Sea

Like millions of American's, I do have trouble toileting myself? I have trouble wiping. However, I also consider myself an aesthete, and so I am holding out for a toilet in the Tuscan style, ringed by leaping fish, presided over by King Triton. His trident shoots a jet of water to clean you where you need it most. Tourists want to visit this toilet. When you see it you'll want to swallow a penny and then eject it from your bottom into glittering water as you make a wish, and your wish is: may this toilet time never end ...

These Quotes Will Not Cease Till My Mother Goes Mute

You know I told him he'll do anything to get famous. It was Dick Cheney, and you know one of his daughters-in-law had the first baby of the year. They put her on the front page of the newspaper. And then there was the time with the deer. The two deer that just came crashing through the plate-glass window. They weren't just babies, they were big deer. Well, one of them was a baby. Can you imagine just sitting there eating, these deer come crashing through, running all around and terrorizing the customers. They caught the baby! I said Steve, now you're a pretty big guy, but that's a wild animal. It's injured, and it could be violent. I said what you needed is one of your guns. Then we could all have had venison for breakfast the next day.

*laughs wildly*