She Fingers Her Pearls, She Begins Private Browsing

As you can probably imagine, I get a richness of good search strings here. Creature porn. Bat erections. Babes getting creamed internally by animals. (So close to the singularity, these last two. I think we'd all like to see a babe getting creamed internally...by a bat erection.) Yet occasionally a quieter search string captures my attention. Today it was "elegant sex." Oh, how sad for you to desire elegant sex and end up here. At the same time, who searches for that? Grace Kelly's juicy ghost?

On Balance: GOOD Day

BAD day because: I finally lugged the last two boxes of books upstairs and discovered that a certain kreechur believes that literature is delicious and good to go bathroom on.

GOOD day because: Boston Review took a poem. Boston Review! You are the opposite of roaches.

Next Year's Costume: Sexy Rockbiter Jr.

The scariest thing is tardiness, so here is my Hallowe'en post for you! I know actually no one in my new town, so I spent the day watching the following terrifying films:

KLUTE: Jane Fonda is the scariest prostitute of all time, because she hates America

BLACK NARCISSUS: It is so scary when the nun buys all that makeup

THE NEVERENDING STORY II: Well...see for yourselves. Ladies and gentlemen, there is a hole in the internet and I am here to fix it. PROBLEM: Fewer pictures of Rockbiter Jr. online than is necessary to ensure the total happiness of the human race. SOLUTION: Me on all fours in front of the television for like an hour, painstakingly pausing and unpausing two minutes of film.