What Are These Bird Noises All About

I had visitors this week, I had visitors so bad! They made me go outside so many times and I think I will never recover. I have been molested with nature all week long, nature has messed with me, and as a result I am awake at 6:00 in the morning watching an actual sunrise. So disgusting! Sliming me with its light!

That Is All

This is...the best advertisement for anything I have ever seen:




















I am your king, and I am commanding you to purchase this treasure--recession be damned! Go make this man a millionaire.

Rule 34: Harp Pornography

They made me go to a waterpark! Do you know about these places? They are full of teens, only teens, and everyone is naked so you can't tell how old anyone is, and sometimes you give a girl the NICE BODY nod and then you look closer and realize that she is, like, nine, and then a little perverted tear rolls down your cheek. It must be so confusing to be a man, in this age of irradiated titty-milk! Anyway, I managed to survive the sun and the wetness and the...fun, only to be nearly seduced to death when one of the teen lifeguards came at me with the smoothest line I've ever heard, "Girl, the water at this park is full of AIDS."

Now let us revel in breaking the "no bikini pictures on poetry blogs" rule, because you wouldn't want to miss this:

Here Is Your New Dollar, America

That is IT, from now on I'm spending nothing but Bunny Bucks:











Hold on, let's see if we can improve this money with some religion:











Perfect. President Obama, print this cash.